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What to do?

What to do is a reference of planning checklists, strategies, guidelines, and helpful advice to assist older adults, their families, and providers to better navigate the maze of retirement, caregiving and disability resources.

Advanced Planning: What advanced planning should we do? Is the difference between an advance directive and a living will?
Advance directives are oral and written instructions about future medical care should you become unable to make decisions (for example, unconscious or too ill to communicate). Each State regulates the use of advance directives differently. A living will is one type of advance directive. It takes effect when the patient is terminally ill. Advance directives are not set in stone. A patient can revise and update the contents as often as he or she wishes. Patients and caregivers should discuss these decisions-and any changes in them-and keep the health care team informed. Everyone involved should be aware of your treatment preferences. Because State laws vary, check with your Area Agency on Aging, a lawyer, or financial planner. They may have information on wills, trusts, estates, inheritance taxes, insurance, Medicare, and Medicaid.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Advanced Planning: What do I do to start advanced planning?
Making advance care plans is a key step for you to take to be sure that your health care preferences are known. Health care providers can only respect those wishes that have been made known and are documented in the medical record. Advance care planning can help your family avoid some of the conflicts that can occur when family members disagree over treatment decisions. It may be easier to make certain decisions after discussing them with family, clergy members, or health care providers. Decisions about forgoing treatment, for instance, or ending life support, involve complex emotional issues and are hard for many people to make alone. Try to make peace with yourself and your family, whatever the decision. As one caregiver put it, “So much of the task is wading through your own feelings-and the rest is just figuring out what to do.”
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Advanced Planning: What legal documents are needed when planning for end of life decisions?
Elder law attorneys specialize in preparing legal documents that cover the needs of older adults. The legal documents can include living wills, power of attorney for health care, general power of attorney, C.P.R. directives and proxy decision maker to name a few. Locate a professional Elder Law Attorney to find out what documents you need and to properly prepare these documents.
Area Agency on Aging: What are some Guidelines for Choosing Housing Options?
Regardless of what the facility is called, check it out thoroughly before making a decision. The types of facilities listed below range from informal home-share arrangements to commercial enterprises, government-sponsored facilities, and housing options administered by nonprofit organizations. Some are licensed or accredited, others are not. Accreditation is an evaluation of a facility's operation against a set of standards. The Continuing Care Accreditation Commission--a membership organization of continuing care communities--is one such organization. Licensing is an evaluation of a facility's operation in accordance with government regulations. About half of the states currently regulate assisted living facilities. Many skilled and intermediate care nursing facilities are accredited to accept patients under the Medicare and/or Medicaid programs, which means that they must meet certain standards and provide certain services. Regardless of these considerations, you are responsible, in large part, for ensuring that the facility is the right one for your spouse, relative or friend.Even if you are not thinking about housing options in the foreseeable future, it is wise to have several in mind in case an emergency arises and you need temporarily care for your relative. Home care agencies often do not have staff available to fill in on short notice, and you may need the services of a long-term care facility.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Area Agency on Aging: What options will be open to you if the need for more supportive housing and living arrangements arises?
Will your family member need to move to another care arrangement? Are these facilities available in the community, and how much will they cost? How are you going to pay for housing and services now and in the future? If you enter into housing that requires a substantial deposit at the time of admission, will some of the money be returned if your relative decides to leave? What guarantees do you have that the facility is financially secure? You and your family will want to ask these questions before making a decision about moving into a new housing arrangement If this arrangement involves a large entrance fee or deposit or the signing of a contract, you also will want to consult a lawyer before making the commitment.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Attorneys & Elder Law: How do I bring up planning and paperwork with my loved one?
If you do not see your loved one often, one visit may not be enough time for you to get all the paperwork organized. Instead, try to focus on gathering the essentials first; you can fill in the blanks as you go along. You might begin by talking to your loved one and his/her primary caregiver about the kinds of records that need to be pulled together. If a primary caregiver is already on the scene, chances are that some of the information has already been assembled. Talk about any missing information or documentation and how you might help to organize the records. Your loved one may be reluctant to share personal information with you. Explain that you are not trying to invade their privacy or take over their personal lives-you are only trying to assemble what they (and you) will need in the event of an emergency. Assure them that you will respect their privacy and keep your promise. If your loved one is still uncomfortable, ask if they would be willing to work with an attorney (some lawyers specialize in elder affairs) or perhaps with another trusted family member or friend.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Attorneys & Elder Law: What important information should I keep track of?
The answer to this question is different for every family. You might want to help organize the following information and update it as needed. This list is just a starting point: Full legal name and residence, Birth date and place, Social Security number, Employer(s) and dates of employment, Education and military records, Sources of income and assets; investment income (stocks, bonds, property), Insurance policies, bank accounts, deeds, investments, and other valuables, Most recent income tax return, Money owed, to whom, and when payments are due and Credit card and charge account names and numbers
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Attorneys & Elder Law: What type of documents/paperwork is necessary to be an effective caregiver?
Effective caregiving depends on keeping a great deal of information in order and up-to-date. Often, long-distance caregivers will need to have information about a parent's personal, health, financial, and legal records. Gathering and organizing this information from far away can seem even more challenging. Maintaining up-to-date information about health and medical care, as well as finances, home ownership, and other legal issues, lets you get a handle on what is going on, and allows you to respond quickly if there is a crisis. Release of Medical Information, Advanced Directives such as a living will, and Power of Attorney are also important documents to have.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Bereavement: What should I do to better Cope With Loss?
Talk about your feelings: Reach out to others (friends, family, spiritual leaders) - this will help reduce feelings of isolation. Join a support group: Support groups provide caregivers with the opportunity to share with other caregivers and learn from one another. Write your feelings down: For people who enjoy writing, this can be a wonderful way to express feelings. Read a book on coping with grief: There are several books available on the issues of caregiving, grieving and loss. Get help when needed: Professionals are available and a third party analyzing the situation can be a reliable ally. The Internet is another resource for finding help nationally and in your community. The U.S. Administration on Aging's Eldercare Locator (1-800-677-1116) can connect you to services in your community.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Care Management: Our mother does not think she needs help but her house says otherwise. What should we do?
Sometimes a third party such as a Care Manager can be useful. Care Management services are provided by Care Managers who give guidance, assessment, care plans and coordination of services for an individual.

Care Management: What do I do if my loved one gets too ill to stay home, but asks me not to move him/her into a facility?
If you are over 40, chances are you've had a similar conversation with someone you love. It might come up if you see a segment about nursing homes while watching the evening news. “Promise you'll never send me to a nursing home,” your mother says. This request usually reflects what most of us want: to stay in our own homes, to maintain independence, to turn to family and friends for help. Sometimes, however, parents really do want their adult children to make a promise. Think carefully before doing so. According to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, "Quality of care means doing the right thing, at the right time, in the right way, for the right person, and having the best possible results." Agreeing that you will not "put someone" in a nursing home may close the door to the right care option for your family. It requires you to know that no matter what happens you will be able to care for your parent. The fact is that for some illnesses, and for some people, professional health care in a long-term care facility is the only reasonable choice.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Care Management: When should someone use a geriatric care manager and how can I find one?
Professional care managers are usually licensed nursing or social work professionals who specialize in geriatrics. Some families hire a geriatric care manager to evaluate and assess a parent's needs and to coordinate care through community resources. The cost of an initial evaluation varies and may be expensive, but geriatric care managers can offer a useful service. They are a sort of "professional relative" to help you and your family to identify needs and how to meet them. These professionals can also be helpful in leading family discussions about sensitive subjects. When interviewing a geriatric care manager, you might want to ask:

The National Association of Professional Geriatric Care Managers can help you find a care manager near your family member's community. You can also call or write the Eldercare Locator for recommendations.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Companion Care: How can my family decide who does what in regards to caregiving?
Be sure to talk with other family members and decide who will be responsible for which tasks. Think about your schedules and how to adapt them to give respite to a primary caregiver or to coordinate holiday and vacation times. One family found that it worked to have the long-distance caregiver come to town while the primary caregiver was on a family vacation. And remember, if you aren't the primary caregiver, offering appreciation, reassurance, and positive feedback is also a contribution.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Companion Care: How do I encourage my parents to get more help?
If you do not see your parent often, changes in his or her health may seem dramatic. In contrast, the primary caregiver might not notice such changes, or realize that more help, medical treatment, or supervision is needed. Sometimes a geriatric care manager or other professional is the first to notice changes. For families dealing with Alzheimer's disease and other dementias, it can be easier to "cover" for the patient-doing things for him or her, filling in information in conversations, and so on-than to acknowledge what is happening. In some cases you may have to be forceful, especially if you feel that the situation is unhealthy or unsafe. Do not leave a frail adult at risk. If you have to act against the wishes of your parent or the primary caregiver, be direct and explain what you are going to do. Discuss your plan and say why you are taking action.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Companion Care: How do I Hire a Home Care Employee?
Avenues for hiring home care aides include: Asking other caregivers for referrals , Going to senior or other employment services , Contacting agencies that assist displaced homemakers and others entering the job market, Advertising in the newspapers and Screen home care employees carefully to ensure that they have the necessary qualifications, training, and or temperament.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Companion Care: How do I know if my loved one needs assistance?
In some cases, the sudden start of a severe illness will make it clear that help is needed. In other cases, your loved one may ask for help. When you live far away, you have to think carefully about possible signs that support or help is needed. You might want to use holiday trips home to take stock. Some questions to answer during your visit include:

Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Companion Care: What can I do to take care of myself and be a less stressful family caregiver?
Feeling frustrated and angry with everyone, from your parent to his or her doctors, is a common caregiving experience. It can be hard to acknowledge that you feel this way, but try not to criticize yourself even more. Caregiving, especially from a distance, is likely to bring out a full range of human emotions, both positive and negative. If you feel angry, it could be a sign that you are overwhelmed or that you are trying to do too much. If you can, give yourself a break: Take a walk, talk with your friends, get some sleep, join a support group-try to do something for yourself. Consider joining a caregiver support group, either in your own community or online. Meeting other caregivers can relieve your sense of isolation and will give you a chance to exchange stories and ideas. By focusing on what you can do, you may be able to free yourself from some of the worry and focus on being supportive and loving.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Companion Care: What is the best way to divide the workload among family caregivers?
If you decide to work as a family team, it makes sense to agree in advance how your skills can complement one another. Ideally, each of you will be able to take on tasks best suited to each person's skills or interests base on available time and personal aptitude. After making these kinds of decisions, remember that over time responsibilities may need to be revised to reflect changes in the situation or your parent's needs. Be realistic about how much you can do and what you are willing to do.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Elder Abuse: What are signs of mistreatment?
Elder mistreatment is the intentional or unintentional hurting, either physical or emotional, of an older person. Some signs to watch for: Bruises, pressure marks, broken bones, abrasions, and burns may indicate physical abuse, neglect, or mistreatment. Unexplained withdrawal from normal activities, a sudden change in alertness, and unusual depression may indicate emotional abuse. Sudden changes in financial situations may be the result of exploitation. Bedsores, unattended medical needs, poor hygiene, and unusual, unexplained weight loss can indicate neglect. Behavior such as belittling, threats, and other uses of power and control by spouses may indicate verbal or emotional abuse. Strained or tense relationships, and frequent arguments between the caregiver and older person can indicate mistreatment. If your parent is in a long-term care facility, the facility must take steps to prevent (and report) abuse. Nursing homes, like hospitals, are subject to strict State licensing requirements and Federal regulations. Even so, neglect and abuse can occur. For more information, contact the National Center on Elder Abuse.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Elder Abuse: What are signs of Self-Neglect?
Self-neglect describes situations in which older people put themselves at high risk. People who neglect themselves may have a disorder which impairs their judgment or memory. They may have a chronic disease. Knowing where to draw the line between self-neglect and a person's right to independence can be hard. Here are some signs that may mean it's time to intervene: Hoarding, Failure to take essential medications or refusal to seek medical treatment for serious illness , Leaving a burning stove unattended, Poor hygiene , Not wearing suitable clothing for the weather , Confusion, Inability to attend to housekeeping and Dehydration.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Elder Abuse: What do I do if I suspect abuse or neglect?
No matter what the cause or who is the perpetrator, abuse and neglect are never acceptable responses. If you feel that your parent is in physical danger, contact the authorities right away. If you suspect abuse, but do not feel there is an immediate risk, contact someone who can act on your behalf: your parent's doctor, for instance, or your contact at a home health agency. Suspected abuse must be reported to adult protective services.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Government Resources & Services: Our father does not have a lot of savings and his health is changing. What can we do to prepare?
Knowing that his needs are changing and that his financial resources are not great, it is wise to research options before they are needed. A good place to start is with your local Area Agency on Aging. They can direct you and your father to a variety of local resources and services for low income older adults.
Health Resources & Services: How do I Evaluate Health Information Online
Many people search online to find information about medical concerns. But not all health information online is of equal quality. The following questions may help you decide if the information you find online is reliable:

Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Home Health Agency: How do I select a Home Care Agency?
If you select an agency, ask the following questions. Those questions starred with an asterisk should also be asked, if you are hiring the home care employee. What type of employee screening is done? Who supervises the employee? What types of general and specialized training have the employees received? Who do you call if the employee does not come? What are the fees and what do they cover? Is there a sliding fee scale? What are the minimum and maximum hours of service? Are there limitations in terms of tasks performed or times of the day when services are furnished? Unless your older friend or relative needs care for a limited number of hours each day, the rates charged by home care agencies for homemaker, home health aide services and van services for transportation are often beyond the means of middle income families. If this is the case, you may want to explore the option of hiring a home care employee directly.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Hospice: I know my father is dying. Someone told me about Hospice. How do I know if this is a good option?
The goal of Hospice care is to improve the quality of a patient's last days by offering comfort and dignity. Hospice addresses all symptoms of a disease, deals with the emotional, social and spiritual impact of the disease on the patient and the patient's family. Hospice also offers a variety of bereavement and counseling services before and after the patient's death. Hospice can be a great source of comfort to both the patient and family members.

Hospice: What do I do if a loved one is terminal and I can't fly out to be there consistently?
The news that a family member is dying is difficult to bear-and yet, it is a basic part of life. When you hear that a loved one has a terminal illness, you may be flooded with emotions: Sorrow, disbelief, anger, anxiety. It can be hard to know what to do or what to say. Fortunately, many organizations are working to improve the lives of dying people and their families. Try to locate a hospice program. Hospice provides special care for people who are near the end of life. Check with Medicare for information on hospice benefits. Talk to your own friends, clergy, or colleagues. Just about everyone has experienced the serious illness and death of a beloved friend or family member. Exchanging stories can help you as you cope with your own loss and with trying to decide what you can do. Contact your loved one's doctor and talk to your own doctor as well to find out what will need to be done, the kinds of care that your loved one is likely to need, and how you can arrange for it to happen.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Housing Specialist: What should I Consider When Choosing Housing and Care Arrangements?
When providing services to older persons who have limitations in their mobility and multiple needs, the type of housing and living arrangements you choose become critical keys in assuring that they get the care they need. Housing and care in this instance go hand in hand. There are many types of housing arrangements available for older persons, and they often overlap in the types of care and services they provide. Before making a housing choice, you and your family should assess present needs and envision, as best as possible, how these needs may change in the future.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Medicaid: What resources are available if I don't have enough money for health care?
You are not alone in worrying about how much everything costs. Health care expenses can be crushing, even for middleclass families who thought they had saved enough. Your may be eligible for some health care benefits. People on fixed incomes who have limited resources may qualify for Medicaid, a program of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services (CMS), a Federal agency. CMS covers the costs of health care for people of all ages who meet income requirements and who are disabled. Because the guidelines change often, you should check with CMS regularly. Medicare offers insurance for prescription drugs. For information about this coverage, visit www.medicare.gov or call 1-800-MEDICARE (1-800-633-4227). The State Health Insurance Assistance Program (SHIP) is a national program offering one-on-one counseling and assistance to people and their families on Medicare. SHIPs provide free counseling and assistance to Medicare beneficiaries on a wide range of Medicare, Medicaid, and Medigap matters. To find your State program, visit www.shipusa.org. If prescription medications cost too much, talk to the doctor about the possibility of prescribing a less expensive medication. The Partnership for Prescription Assistance can provide a list of patient assistance programs supported by pharmaceutical companies.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Medical & Drug Trials: What are the benefits and risks of participating in a clinical trial?
Benefits: Clinical trials that are well-designed and well-executed are the best approach for eligible participants to play an active role in their own health care. Gain access to new research treatments before they are widely available. Obtain expert medical care at leading health care facilities during the trial. Help others by contributing to medical research.
Risks: There are risks to clinical trials. There may be unpleasant, serious or even life-threatening side effects to experimental treatment. The experimental treatment may not be effective for the participant. The protocol may require more of their time and attention than would a non-protocol treatment, including trips to the study site, more treatments, hospital stays or complex dosage requirements.
Source: Clinical Trials

Medical & Drug Trials: Why participate in a clinical trial?
Participants in clinical trials can play a more active role in their own health care, gain access to new research treatments before they are widely available, and help others by contributing to medical research.
Source: Clinical Trials

Medical Equipment: How can we make the house safer for my mother who has memory loss?
You can take many precautions that will make the house safer, more accessible, and comfortable. Because you are not present, you may want to evaluate the safety of your mother's home during one of your visits (with the understanding that you must quickly correct any real dangers). On future visits, you should be alert for hazards and aware of things you can do to make the house safer. If you are worried about your parent's safety, don't wait until the next visit. If you feel that your parent is unsafe alone, make note of which behaviors have become most worrisome and discuss these with the primary caregiver and the doctor. Behavior that is unsafe or unhealthy may have become familiar to the primary caregiver. The kitchen in particular presents many opportunities for accidents, especially when a parent misuses appliances or forgets that something is cooking. Discuss your concerns and offer to help adapt the environment to meet your parent's changing safety needs.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Nursing Home: Is there anyway to find out about the quality of service of a nursing home?
There is a new program called Nursing Home Compare. Go to the website: www.medicare.gov. The website offers detailed information about the past performance of every Medicare and Medicaid certified nursing home in the country. In addition to the information you receive on the website, the you should visit the facility and speak with the staff. Also dropping by unannounced is a good plan.
Source: www.Medicare.gov

Physicians: How can I make the most of a visit with my parent's doctor? I don't want to waste the doctor's time.
If you go with your parent to see the doctor, here are a few tips that will help you be an ally and advocate. Bring a prioritized list of questions and take notes on what the doctor recommends. Both can be helpful later, either to give information to the primary caregiver, or to remind your parent what the doctor said. Before the appointment, ask your parent, the primary caregiver, and your siblings if they have any questions or concerns they would like you to bring up. Bring a list of ALL medications your parent is taking, both prescription and over-the-counter, and include dosage and schedule (if your parent sees several different doctors one may not necessarily know what another has prescribed). When the doctor asks a question, do not answer for your parent unless you have been asked to do so. Always talk to the doctor and to your parent. Respect your parent's privacy and leave the room when necessary. Ask the doctor if she or he can recommend community resources that might be helpful. Larger medical practices and hospitals may have a social worker on staff. Ask to speak with the social worker. She or he may have valuable information about community resources. *NIA has a free booklet called Talking with Your Doctor: A Guide for Older People that provides helpful information about doctor/patient communication. It includes hints on getting ready for a doctor's appointment, making health care decisions, and talking about sensitive subjects. The Resources section of this booklet has information on getting a copy of this guide.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Physicians: Where do I start to keep up with my loved one's medical care?
Health care experts recommend that you start by learning as much as you can about your loved one's illness, current treatments, and its likely course. This information will be essential as you help your parent and the primary caregiver cope with day-to-day concerns, make decisions, and plan for the future. When you visit your loved one, consider going along on a doctor's appointment (check that he/she does not mind having you there). Some long-distance caregivers recommend making a separate appointment with a doctor allows them to seek more detailed information and answers to questions. Note: These appointments must be paid for out-of-pocket and you must have permission to have any conversation with their doctor. Ask your loved one to complete a release form that allows the doctor to discuss his or her health care with you. Be sure the release is up-to-date and that there's a copy in their records in addition to keeping a back-up copy for your files.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Relocation & Downsizing: How do I know if it's time to move?
The decision about whether you should move is often tricky and emotional. Each family will have its own reasons for wanting (or not wanting) to take such a step. One family may decide a move is right because they no longer need so much space or cannot manage the home. For another family the need for hands-on care in a long-term care facility motivates a change. In some cases, a move frees up cash to afford a more suitable situation. In the case of long-distance caregivers, the notion of moving a loved one can seem like a solution to the problem of not being close enough to help. For some caregivers, moving a sick or aging parent to their own home or community can be a viable alternative. In some cases, an adult child moves back to the parent's home to become the primary caregiver. Keep in mind that leaving a home, community, and familiar medical care can be very disruptive and difficult.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Resources & Support: What are common Reactions To Loss And Change?
There are many losses as one deals with change. Recognizing these will help one address them: Guilt, Sadness, Anxiety, Withdrawal, Irritability, Feeling overwhelmed, Anger/frustration, Feeling helpless and Change in appetite.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Resources & Support: What are some strategies to manage Caregiver Stress?
By developing some coping strategies, you may be able to avoid reaching the point of exhaustion and burnout. You are experiencing burnout if you become numb to your loved one's needs and feelings and you just don't care. Don't let it go that far; it may be difficult or impossible to recover. Remember you are not alone. Seek out resources that can assist you during this emotionally stressful time (books, organizations, web pages, and support groups). Find an Eldercare Specialist, a trained expert, who can help you find the services and support you need.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Resources & Support: What do I do about the guilt I feel from long distance caregiving?
You might think that being far away gives you some immunity from feeling overwhelmed by what is happening to your parent-but long-distance caregivers report that this is not so. Although you may not feel as physically exhausted and drained as the primary, hands-on caregiver, you may still feel worried and anxious. Many long-distance caregivers describe feeling terribly guilty about not being there, about not being able to do enough or spend enough time with the parent. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can given the circumstances, and you can only do what you can do. If you are like most long-distance caregivers, you already have many people who rely on you: Your spouse, children, perhaps even grandchildren, as well as friends, coworkers, and colleagues. Adding one more "to-do" to your list may seem impossible. You may find some consolation or comfort in knowing that you are not alone. Many people find that support groups are a great resource and a way to learn caregiving tips and techniques that work-even from a distance. Others find the camaraderie and companionship helpful. Some enjoy meeting monthly or weekly, while others find what they need in online support groups. The Eldercare Locator may be able to help you find a local group.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Resources & Support: What emotions are "normal" for me to feel as a Caregiver?
Providing care for someone you love who is no longer able to take care of him- or herself produces a wide range of emotions. It's natural to feel sadness and grief for your loved one's losses and for the loss of your own previous life. Over time, more emotions may surface. You may have days when you feel: Angry and resentful, Guilty and impatient, Ashamed and lonely, Sorry for yourself and/or Fearful of the future. Some of these may shock you or seem "bad." These feelings aren't self-centered or wicked. It is a normal response to the extreme changes that providing care can bring to your life. As a caregiver, you donate a great deal of your time and energy to someone else's needs, and often ignore your own. When difficult emotions surface, remember that you have your own needs. Let your feelings prompt you to do something for yourself. Take a break: watch the birds, read a magazine, listen to a favorite song, or just meditate.
Source: www.aoa.gov

Resources & Support: What is the easiest way to find directions to a location without calling first?
An easy way to find any location is through the website www.MapQwest.com. You will need the address, city and zip or the street intersection of your destination. Go to the website and type in the location information you have and you will have a choice to printing a map or written directions.
Respite Care: How can I help lighten the caregiving load for my mother?
Your mother may be hesitant to ask for help, or to say that she needs a break. Be sure to acknowledge how important her care has been for your father. Also discuss the physical and emotional effects caregiving can have on people. True, caregiving can be satisfying, but it also can be very hard work. Offer to help arrange for respite care. Respite care will give your mother a break from her caregiving responsibilities. Respite care can be for an afternoon or for several days. Care can be provided in the family home, or your dad may spend the time in an adult day services program or at a skilled nursing facility. The ARCH National Respite Locator Service can help you to find services in your parent's community. You might suggest your mother contact the Well Spouse Association-it offers support to the wives, husbands, and partners of chronically ill or disabled people and has a nationwide listing of local groups. The Resources section of this booklet has information on how to contact these organizations.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Social Security: I lost my Social Security Card and how do I replace it?
If you need to replace a lost Social Security card, change the name shown on your card, or request a replacement card, you will need to complete an application to receive a new Social Security card. The application is called Form SS-5 and you can obtain this form on the Internet or by calling 1-800-772-1213. You can also request a new card by visiting your local Social Security office. Here is the website link that explains these options and even allows you to replace your social security card online.
Source: www.ssa.gov

Transporation: How can I be a caregiver from long distance?
Many long-distance caregivers provide emotional support and occasional respite to a primary caregiver who is in the home. Long-distance caregivers can play a part in arranging for professional caregivers, hiring home health and nursing aides, or locating assisted living and nursing home care. Some long-distance caregivers help a parent pay for care, while others step in to manage finances. Caregiving is not easy for anyone, not for the caregiver and not for the care recipient. From a distance, it may be especially hard to feel that what you are doing is enough, or that what you are doing is important; it usually is.
Source: So Far Away: Twenty Questions for Long-Distance Caregivers

Transportation: What are the considerations for Transporting A Loved One With Dementia?
When impairments resulting from Alzheimer's disease and related dementias prevent older adults from safely driving or using public transportation, caregivers often become primary transportation providers. Transporting your loved one can be a challenge, but does not have to be a struggle every time. Try to keep in mind the advice given by a long-time caregiver, “ The slower you go, the faster things get done.”
Source: www.aoa.gov

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